I had a big long piece about feminist porn planned, but I think I want to have a more introductory theme to why I am doing this whole thing. Much of this blog hasn’t been very funny or very boner mocking yet and I apologize for creating those expectations with the very name of this blog. But as you suspect, I am a male feminist. As mentioned before (and seen in photos), I am also white. For a while, I didn’t get why people view this as a contradiction. I haven’t had an experience where I felt harassed because of my views, just told directly that I need to study things much more before I place a label. This is all personal stuff, so if you are looking for a big long critique, I don’t suspect I’m going to be writing it in this column. I just want to explain who I am.
I guess it all started around high school, probably around sophomore year. As mentioned in the past, I had roughly one friend before going from private school to public school in the 10th grade. This was the best decision I’ve ever thought about since I severely doubt I would pay attention to feminism, alternate political and religious theory, and podcasts without high school. I hated the atmosphere of high school, but I enjoyed my independence. I learned how to write, going from embarrassing Xanga and MySpace blogs to writing for college newspapers and the very blog I’m writing right now.
Feminism wasn’t on my mind in high school, but I was always closer to females during those days. I don’t know what it was, but men seemed like assholes. It’s funny, I see people assert feminists as man-haters, but I probably hated men way more when I had to encounter teasing in high school. It wasn’t like The Perks of Being a Wallflower where a girl was hurling obscenities. And by the way, I think there was way more about me that was inherently sexist. I think all of my female friendships were based on desire much more than anything else. The college story is significantly less interesting because I think it’s cliche. I got new friends in college, they basically gave me a greater understanding of stupid shit I was doing, and an understanding about feminism grew from there.
I do worry that I’m not “good” at this. This is kind of a secret worry I have about everything, though. I’m generally fine with my writing, my appearance, or my point of view, but being fine somehow doesn’t feel the same as being good at something. I wrote this very blog to try to reconcile this. I am a lone male feminist in my group of male friends and sometimes there’s playful teasing about this. Unlike high school, I don’t really view this as insulting, just a response to me asserting something that people aren’t as crazy about.
By the way, I don’t think you are a sexist, non-feminist reader. If you take the time to even read this without firing a ridiculous comment, chances are you’re not off the mark. Why I made this was more just a general comment place to put some opinions that might be preaching to the choir but are worth talking about. This is why I post links on Facebook or act obnoxious.
So if you enjoy this, I’ll gladly keep typing.
That said, I will break one myth. To those who throw down the strawman argument that male feminists do what they do to get laid, well, that’s a dumb argument to begin with, really. Maybe women like being treated like people instead of sex objects? But anyway, let me state that there hasn’t been a situation where a feminist convo in my life has led to sex. And that shit is a-ok. For all the worth of intellectual thought apparent in society, there’s seemingly few examples where this feels genuine. Feminist chats feel genuine to me.
Again, sorry for being selfish here. We’ll talk about feminist porn soon.